The Karate Kick
I grew up mostly with four brothers living in the house. I was the only girl and, sadly, also the youngest. One evening my brothers, Mathias and Jerimiah, found my eldest brother Charlie’s two pairs of boxing gloves. Typically Charlie keeps them in his room, a place we were not to venture. However, today he left them sitting on a table in the garage. Once they saw them out and for grabs; they ran to get me and the youngest of my brothers, Zak. I sat to the side of the garage while my brothers each took turns fighting
This went on for about an hour until my brothers were all exhausted. They decided on one more fight, it was Jerimiah against Mathias. The fight didn’t take long, considering that Mathias is almost a foot taller. Jerimiah was furious that he couldn’t win. He yanked off his boxing gloves and chucked them at Mathias for taunting him. While Jerimiah was stomping toward the door to the house, Mathias ran up behind him and corn-dogged* him. Jerimiah turned around in utter rage. At that moment it felt like everything froze and then started playing in slow motion, like how it is in the movies.
Jerimiah decided, in a split-second, to spin his whole body around with all his weight and karate kick Mathias straight into his face. Zak and I stood in complete shock, even Jerimiah was surprised it actually worked. But Mathias started screaming in pain and cussing out Jerimiah, asking him, “Why would you do that?!” However, Jerimiah’s only reply was laughter. Mathias soon went from anger to fear once he realized he was unable to close his jaw. He started having a panic attack and screaming at the top of his lungs.
We all didn’t know what to do. Then suddenly our mom comes storming into the garage yelling, “What in the hell are you screaming about?!” Finally, after a few more sobs, Mathias screams out an answer. “I can’t close my jaw!” My mom’s expression went from anger to worry. She ran back into the house and grabbed the house phone and called for help. She explained her sons were fighting and one brother kicked the other in his face and he couldn’t close his jaw. They sent someone immediately.
A firetruck and an ambulance showed up at our house, my mom opened the garage for them. A few firefighters started helping Mathias calm down and fix his jaw. While the rest were talking to my mom, brothers, and I. They were asking questions about what happened, to try to get the story straight.
By the time they finally got to questioning me I was in complete tears, I hated talking to adults I didn’t know. When they asked me what happened, I told them, “Mathias-” *Sob* “-corn-dogged Jerimiah-” *sniffle* “- so Jerimiah-” *pause* “-karate kicked him in the face.” Then there was an awkward silence between the firefighters and they were all looking at each other. A tall man clarified, “So he corn-dogged him.” pointing first to Mathias, then to Jerimiah. “Then he kicked him in the face.” first pointing to Jerimiah then Mathias. They looked to me for an answer and I slowly nodded my head yes.
The firefighters took a second to look at each other again and then the chief and a few other firefighters started to laugh. Mathias replied with anger, “What are you laughing about?” The man’s only reply was to shake his head smiling and say, “I think we are done here.” They quickly pack up, wished us goodnight, and left.
You would think that after all the trauma this induced into me and my brothers, something like this would never happen again. However, this was not the case. They fought many more times, causing chaotic situations and many more hilarious stories to tell.
*corn-dogging defined by Urban Dictionary.com "To corn dog someone is to knee them up their rear when they dont expect it."